sudden avalanche of great news

i got my bonus this month. but ssssshhhh don't tell anyone. i'm gonna hoard it away for a rainy day or a day i feel like a bit of sunshine. ie., shopping, travelling, other frivolous expenses. oh ya, my masters too.

my sis got into nus biz admin. not that i'm surprised cos she's been top 10% in her poly every single year. very proud and happy for her. save money also, no need to go overseas. wahaha.

my sis in law is pregnant! this means that my bro will be a FATHER. that i cannot get over. another thing that's even harder to get over is- i'm gonna be a MAKCIK. how unglam is that sia? baby's coming in nov... wicked.

my aunt is giving birth in a couple of weeks. should see her stomach man, she's huuuuuuge. can't wait. hehehe. new toy new toy!

nah not gonna elaborate on any of the above. malas ah. just squeal along, people, squeal along.

been there, done that

the build up was slightly nerve-wracking. the event itself took less than a minute. it wasn't painful. at all. i didn't even wince. yaya felt like a proud parent. for me it was a little anti- climatic. i was like, that's it? hmm.

whatever it is, my lifelong (ok, not quite) dream has been fulfilled. :) tho i am dreading the after effects. has benefits tho, i haven't sat up quite so straight ever. for long periods sommore.

to answer the question, "should i, shouldn't i?". i did.

fyi, titanium black with a sapphire blue stone. *nudge nudge wink wink*

gotta love it.

what i get for not reading the papers

damien rice is having a concert here next week. it's sold out and i didn't even KNOW about it. aaarrrrggghhhh!!! sooo lame! very sad. anyone got any lobang to get tix?? sighs. :(

remind me to be in the loop and be ahead of the pack from now on ok. bummer lah.

another whiny entry abt work... and then some

i'm doing something partially important at work. i'm more or less coordinating the whole move to tampines. happening this weekend. or as i put on the movement board in the office, "moving. (i hope)". hmm. kinda cool lah cos the bosses depend on me. haha. i'm supposed to randomly allocate people to the stations but obviously seeing how the power is in my hands i'm gonna put people wherever the hell i want. wahaha. ahh privileges. love em.

got a complaint today from a customer i didn't call when i was supposed to. tell someone who gives a damn lah. worst part is rite, the stupid hotline dept gave the idiot (customer) my hp no!! since when was my hp no. company property?? dumb fucks. gonna ask them to stop sending me those irritating sms notifications too. don't get into my personal space mans. back the hell off.

just now the ceo had a briefing will all us happening young execs. wants us to start selling. incentives are not bad lah but whatever. i ain't no salesperson. gonna make damn sure they know that. it's a challenge? pain in the ass ok.

tomoro we're having a dept dinner and he'll be there too. sigh. on the other hand, the menu is awesome, cos i organised the caterer. wahaha. yup, i'm 'lending a hand' wherever i can. kepo kepo.

hmm why am i always talking about work. anyways, since rohana spilled the beans already, yeah i'm off the market. wahaha. no, i don't want any comments. just be happy for me ok. thanks.

midweek whine

i need a get rich quick scheme. NOW. i really cannot stand work. even the thought of having to go back tomoro after a 3 day hiatus(hiatus my ass. details later) gives me heart palpitations. aaargh! biggest regret to date- signing that stupid bond.

ok details about how work won't leave me alone. we get leads that we're supposed to call up and they inform us via email AND sms. sms!!! what the hell?? i even get them on weekends! i DO NOT wanna get smses from work! are they paying my phone bill? noooooo. what the hell is the reason behind sending me freaking smses asking me to call up people? customer first my ass ok. my time is mine. gonna get the stupid relevant dept to stop the sms notifications for me. assholes.

this is really pissing me off. i'm gonna go chill.

stress ah stress

i forgot to bitch about something else. last wed i did my 1st ever presentation in front of a 200- strong group of nsmen. i never said i was any good with presentations. i have never showed that i'm any good with presentations. so what the hell? was bloody nervous and i think i sucked. went too fast, was too nervous and made a couple of major mistakes. but at least they enjoyed it. i think. stupid me also wore a top that i think i look fat in. doh. did nothing for my confidence i tell you.

speaking of confidence, i have none. can't drive. can't do telemarketing. can't do sales. can't be counted on to get things done. sighs. i suck with practical tasks. even in aust, i wasn't great with the housekeeping and helping out with events and stuff. come to think of it, i even sucked at waitressing. hmm. then again, i only sucked when there was someone else there who was better at it. if i'm on my own or with, ahem, 'more challenged' people, then i'm totally competent. wahaha. the only thing i think i'm really good at is planning. but someone else has to execute it. i'll just supervise. haha.

back to the presentation. i have to do another one on fri for another group of 200 nsmen. 3 others are going with me but none of them are presenters. if i go blank or chicken out last minute, there won't be anyone there for back up. i'm pissing myself already.

on the bright side, this coming week i'll be in office for only 2 days. mon and tues on course then offday on wed. fri i won't be in office half the time cos we'll be coming in around 11.30 and leaving for the talk at about 5pm. sweet.

ok off to build someone a wayang kulit stage. oh crap, forgot about researching for characters... doo di doo di doo.

shallow me

applying for the latest credit/ debit card on the market cos... it's a pretty purple colour. :D well, lilac, with silver words. cool rite? so exciting... and got cash rebates when you spend at certain shopping centres sommore. the tagline is 'shop for cash'. which is a bit coincidental, cos i was just telling my cousin's bf (soon to be fiance, in like, 2 weeks) that if i had the choice i wouldn't work for money. hmm.

been a long time...

did anyone miss me? haha. nothing much has been happening lah, so no updates. unless u wanna hear me whine and bitch about the pain in my ass that is work. life is too short to work just so other people can get rich man. ok lah ok i'll do a bit of whining. haha.

i did mention last time that i should probably calm down and not be so idealistic and self righteous. screw that lah. if u won't stand up for yourself then who will? making noise to the powers above does work but sometimes the effort put in is just not justified by the results. i think there's something wrong somewhere with that sentence. hmm. anyways, yeah. it's hard to be rebellious when everyone is asking you to bite your tongue and go along with stuff. mebbe this time round i'm not as daring as i was in the last job i was unhappy with (the scientific/chemical/whatever it's called formula for water) becos now i actually have something to lose. dammit.

oh well. whatever lah. don't care. yeah my attitude sucks, so what? people are telling me to do my best no matter what kinda tasks they give you so that when the time comes, they can recommend you to other departments. yeah right. empty promises. they did not hold up their end of the bargain so is there any reason i should hold up mine? i don't think so. you scratch my back i scratch yours. can't expect something from nothing. pfft. idiots.

we were supposed to move to our new office today. didn't happen. why? cos last minute management pulled the plug on renovations cos they weren't happy with the place. 3 days before we were supposed to move. idiots. i am worked up because i was looking forward to the move sooo bad. absolutely dying to move to the office because it's nearer to home therefore i will be saving on travel time and transport costs. also cos it means that we can finally have our own space and stop sharing with the other centre who have been turning increasingly competitive and unhelpful. u want the sales just take it lah! wtf do i care man. sheesh.

so yeah. work is a bitch. *yawn*

next installment i will be bitching abt things other than work. stay tuned people! haha.

one for the discovery channel

i have discovered a brilliant way to stop people from sitting beside me on the bus. don't shower after a workout at the gym. ok so this is what happened. worked out, went to shower, bloody long queue. i thought, stuff it, i don't feel like changing back into heels and blowing my hair and doing my make up again just to go home. screw that! so i just wiped off (yeah, didn't even wash up), packed my bag and got the hell out of there. haha. brilliant ah. think i will do that from now on... hmm. unless i'm absolutely soaking in sweat ah.

went to the air force school for a talk today. did some shopping there. haha. i never thought i'd be that cliche about women being shopaholics. alas, i have joined the masses. and it feels damn good boi. retail therapy. it means what it says. i need new shoes! mmm... shoes... need work shoes and runnign shoes... think i could use a pair of inline skates (yeah, they r not called rollerblades ok. that's a brand) too...

"the meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances; if there is any reaction, both are transformed."
---carl jung (1875- 1961)

how scientific and romantic is that? psychologist ok! wahaha.

my idea of expressing one's self

ok after this there will be no more mention of living vicariously thru me or airing of anymore laundry. capisce? i mean it. u never know who might be reading your blog. i'd like to live fast and die young but come on, no need to accelerate the process hor.

of roots and grass

i shall blog about the hot but not gay married guy who has a kid. haha. went to an induction program thing for new grassroots leaders last sunday. had to wake up damned early, but was late anyway and had to take a cab all the way to freaking nacli in buona vista. on a sun morn. when i should b sleeping in. sighs. the things i do.

i expected there to be maybe 60-70 people max. oh boy was i wrong. it was a whole freaking auditorium. and i was on my ownsome lonesome. so i stood around and acted cool lah what else. hehe. went right to the back of the auditorium and sat in the row behind this tanned hunky dude in a tight black tee. damn nice arms. i'm a sucker for nice, toned arms. like the new colleague i have( well, not exactly my colleague cos he will be staying in bras basah while i'm moving to tamp, but still same dept ah. tall, tanned, chinese. nicknamed superman. i digress). tee said 'police' in small words at the back near the collar. i like...

after the first part of the prog, we had to get into discussion groups around tables in another room. i was busting for a pee so i went to the loo and by the time i came into that room, most of the spaces had been filled. the 1st table i saw tt had a seat was the table with the hunk and was occupied mostly by makciks. so i asked if i could join them. unfortunately i got kicked off the table when the facilitator came cos one of the speakers was supposed to sit there. doh. plans were foiled! haha.

no matter. after that session, we headed back to the auditorium. sat in the same place with the hunk in front of me. after the thing was over, for some reason his pencil flipped all the way into my row. then when he came to retrieve it, he smiled at me. wahaha. damn nice smile. the kind that lights up his whole face and u can't help but smile back. it was lunch time.

happy happy, lining up, brooding over having to eat alone. then when it was my turn at the buffet, guess who turned up beside me? thaaaat's right. haha. he poked me with his fork! accidentally of course. then i was like, eh u alone here ah? then he's like, ya. i said, ok bes, u're eating with me then. he said, haha ok can. how smooth am i?

we sat down, had a nice lunch and chat, talking about ways to improve the community and crap. after that, went on a tour of the nacli grounds. he was telling me really funny stories. i can't remember what they're about though. hmm. one of the makciks was there too and she asked if he had kids. that's when he said yeah, one. shattered my hopes. wahaha. no lah of cos not, never assume tt anyone is single mah. was just enjoying his company. beats eating alone in a room full of strangers ok.

so that's the story of the hot but not gay married guy who has a kid. no, we did not exchange numbers or anything. just bid each other a fond farewell. the end.

in related news, had a neighbourhood committee meeting last night. we're having a party in april. guess who got bullied into becoming the emcee? FUCK ok. i get stage fright dammit!! i mentioned this problem but everyone was insistent. my claims of getting stage fright and not being good with audiences went unheard. i thought being in a committee was supposed to make u feel empowered, not powerless. looks like i'm gonna have to get a sorethroat on that day. hmm. yes yes, schemer. remember that we don't plan to fail, but we fail to plan.

saturday saturday (how boring are my headings?)

watched munich. it was kinda slow and boring at times and i was wondering what the hell was going on. but it was pretty good... eric bana is so damn hot ok. HOT. movie was shot 70s style so u do feel like u were right there with them. cool. mad crush on eric now. wahaha. for details on what happened after the movie, please refer to rohana's blog. haha. i agree, the dude ain't tt good looking. the girl ain't impressive either. he has a nice bod tho.

today shon and i went for a beginners' skating class at east coast. reason shon came along was cos faisal went and pulled his hamstrings so he was in pain and couldn't go. needed to find a replacement, so shon to the rescue! thanks beb. we know how to stop now! wahaha. mystery solved. now i wanna go buy new blades. the guys who taught us were damn cool lah. so funny. we were dying of thirst so we made our way to the food centre where we promptly downed freshly blended juices. mmm... then i asked shon the unthinkable.

"so, is there anything good to eat here?"

doh. think i'm the only singaporean who would ask that at the famous east coast food centre. wahaha. was feeling for mama (cos im sick of nasi padang) so had mutton chop and shon had rojak. freaking ex! if i had known i wouldn't have had it. haha. but it was ok. my aunt makes better mutton chop. same aunt who runs the chicken rice stall. she rocks ok. having a baby soon. woohoo! yaaaaay new toy!! think it's a girl. hmm feel like adopting her as a god daughter. or maybe will just get her something extravagant when she's born. will see what happens.

i digress.

after that we went to bedok and i did the unthinkable. i went budget shopping. spent 34 bucks and got 5 items. not bad eh? now now, before everyone starts going into cardiac arrest, let me explain. this shop sold factory rejects of branded stuff. see, not so hard to breathe now right? haha. good stuff lah, quality and value. wicked. was in dire need of new clothes anyway. the item i'm most excited about is the work pants. 10 bucks. score. haha. need to take the hips in a bit tho. well... ok, i'm lying. there's another item which i got for $7 that i am truly excited about, but i shall not mention it here... except that its white with spots in shades of purple and pink. heh. heh. heh.

came home and had ben and jerry's chubby hubby. not bad. all in all a pretty relaxing sat. tho it's bloody hot sia. and i really need to get my finances under control. pay comes in on mon! woohoo!

100th post/ special announcement

ladies and gentlemen, i am pleased to announce that I PASSED MY M9!! wahaha. i know, it's about time right?? i swear the moments before i clicked submit were the most horrific 5 seconds of my entire life. ok ok, maybe my entire year so far. feels like a great burden has been lifted man. couldn't stop shaking for a good 15 min after the paper. sighs. no more stupid m9 text! and i am officially qualified to do what i've been doing at work. hmm.

ok seeing how it's the 100th post, i guess it's time to reflect on the past 99? urhm...... ok ok, so i'm a whiny biatch. but it's my blog so quote toooooo baaaaaaad unquote. wahaha.

plenty of sales going on. 50% off at aldo (50%!!). charles and keith clearance. topshop and dorothy perkins sale. giordano having a black phrase... oh man. 5 days to pay. i can hold on...

i know, completely uninspired post right. wahaha. on the bright side, i found browne's choc chill at marketplace in city hall. bliss... i miss perth soo bad it's not funny. sigh. rohana i can't wait for the trip ah. bring it on!!

sundays with naz

tired ah. here are some nuggets from my favourite pick me up book.

"the culture that we have does not make people feel good about themselves. and you have to be strong enough to say if the culture doesn't work, don't buy it."

"life is a series of pulls back and forth. you want to do one thing, but you are bound to do something else. something hurts you, yet you know it shouldn't. you take certain things for granted, even when you know you should never take anything for granted.
a tension of opposites, like a pull on a rubber band. and most of us live somewhere in the middle."
sounds like a wrestling match, i say.
"a wrestling match." he laughs. "yes, you could describe life that way."
so which side wins, i ask.
"which side wins?"
he smiles at me, the crinkled eyes, the crooked teeth.
"love wins. love always wins."

---tuesdays with morrie, mitch albom---

p.s. next post will be the 100th. anyone got ideas?

inner ambition

i have come to the conclusion that being a housewife can't be that bad after all. had an off day today for the 1st time in quite a while (ok, 2 wks) and i thoroughly enjoyed staying home and doing nothing all day. not that i'm saying housewives do nothing all day. i did clean my room. haha. also managed to catch ever after: a cinderella story and the three musketeers. i love medieval themed movies... can't get enough of the swashbuckling heroes too. haha. missed you got served though. damn.

i miss my bumming around days. however, i shall be grateful that i have a job, even though i'm plotting on how to get out of it. or make it more bearable.

speaking of work, had to do a presentation on wed in the morn. kinda like a rehearsal for when i will eventually have to give presentations at military camps. *gasp* those who know me, know that i absolutely hate having to speak in front of an audience. scares me shitless.

needless to say, that presentation bombed big time. there were 2 of us giving presentations. i completely forgot everything that i wanted to say and just speeded through the whole thing. sucked ok. the observers said that the both of us had the presence, just needed to practice more. my team leader reckons mine is more of a confidence problem. he's absolutely right, of course.

so they arranged for us to have another presentation in the afternoon, keeping their earlier feedback in mind and this time with a bigger audience. it did not suck as much. haha. phew. my colleague will be presenting for real on fri at a camp. i won't be presenting as yet cos i'm not scheduled for a talk until the 1st of march. will start shitting myself and praying for a sorethroat when the date draws nearer.

in the meantime, everyone please pray that i pass my exam next week as it will be the third bloody time i'm sitting for it. if i don't pass i swear to god it's a sign i should just forget about this industry. then again, passing this is probably more doable than me finding someone willing to marry me within the next year and a half.

sunday bloody sunday

oh man, it's sunday night already?? noooooo! actually, tomoro won't be so bad lah. cos got training from 9 to 5. go home early. woohoo! then again i have a presentation this wed which i haven't prepared for. will be sitting for that goddamned exam AGAIN next wed. bummer aaaahhhhhh! can cry ok. sighs.

anyways, my new phone has been given the name Tobias. learn it, know it, love it. wahaha. got a handstrap big enough for my hand at bugis for $10.90. man... so much for saving. still haven't got any bling though. hmm.

u know what, it really truly is a small world. met diyana and sharyl on sat for shopping, dinner and sheesha. last min, di wanted to see her cousins off at the airport. she promised that they were cute. i was not disappointed. haha. thing is, i swear i had met them or heard of them somewhere before. started thinking and thinking... then it struck me when we were sitting at popeye's. one of her apparently single cousins is allegedly the bf of one of my seniors! so i'm like, hmmmm... the information is getting verified at the moment. will keep u guys posted. haha.

we headed to arab st after the airport cos sharyl the sheesha virgin (not anymore) wanted to try some. i tell u ah, arab st is happening sia. but it's a bit like a kampung melayu + middle eastern people thingy. not that i'm complaining, cos there was eye candy. hehe. we also discovered during the course of the night that di gets turned on when i meow. wahahahaha. *airing other people's laundry* di i hope u don't mind. ;)

all in all, was a great sat. we should go do that again! *meow*

yippedee doo dah

i have a new baby. :D been eyeing it for the longest time and now i got my hands on it. samsung e730c... looks like almost all my birthday wishes have come true (i would include a link to my old blog with the birthday post but i'm too lazy). whoever meets me from now on, i'm gonna make you touch it. cos you'll fall in love like i did. matte finish... gorgeous. i would post a pic but then i'm too lazy.

went to town with diyana a couple of days ago and oh man, why so many foreigners?? think there's a navy ship in town or something. mrt on the way back was super packed and most of the similar looking botak and big guys got off at tanah merah. i rest my case.

tomoro i will be at the fullerton hotel. why? cos my sis is having her prom there and i'll be doing her make up. she got a room cos she's one of the organisers. needless to say, i'm parking my fat ass there for the duration of the prom until they get back. unless someone wants to accompany me and walk around esplanade while bitching about how sorry your lovelife is and staring in blinding green jealousy at lovey-dovey couples. who's in? you know my number!

*sighs* absurdly happy these past couple of days. god knows why. rohana does too. wahahahahaha.

Melancholy may enter your soul, and ambush your happiness; but it will prepare you for true joy. Melancholy drives out all other emotions and feelings, so the source of all goodness may occupy the whole house. It shakes the yellow leaves from the tree, allowing fresh leaves to grow. It pulls up old bodily pleasures by the roots, allowing divine spiritual pleasures to be planted. Melancholy takes many things from the soul, in order to bring better things in return.

-Rumi, "Masnavi"

gloom bloom

i don't get it. how come so many people today asked me why i was so gloomy? granted i was dressed all in black... but what the hell? for the record, i always start the day out pretty neutral until the first human interaction i have. if it's positive, i'll be happy. if it's negative, then it just spoils the rest of my day. yeah i know, just get over it and move on and don't let that one incident ruin my day. i can't help it. sensitip you know. wahaha.

as i was saying, most of my colleagues were like, eh why look so moody? i'm like, argh i'm not!! you guys are making me moody though! haha. not all of them lah of cos. i realise that i get along better with the male colleagues. perhaps because i keep a certain distance. hmm. don't spend too much time with them.

eh happy house stuff is nice ahhh. very colourful and bright and happy. god knows i need those right now. *hint hint* i want the cushion! and the handphone bling... but then i saw other hangphone hanging thingys that are cute. then again since when do i do cute? ok mebbe will get the cute hanging thing (mini animal soft toys in weird colours) for my gym lock. it might get stolen though... hmm. assuming people are that evil ah.

i want new hp accessories cos i need to get a new phone. note, need. cos i dropped my phone yesterday and it started to die on me randomly thereafter. bugger. could've had a new phone by now but my batt was running low and i wasn't done transferring all my numbers. having to do this made me wonder why i lived with the inconvenience that is my phone model for this long. sheesh.


and if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.

it is absurd to divide people into good and bad. people are either charming or tedious.

some people create happiness wherever they go, others, whenever they go.

monday blues

i have to be at work in 11 hours. this sucks because i don't want to be at work. i'm not even needed there. i hate it when i have nothing even remotely important to do. this is not what work is supposed to be about. i'm supposed to have responsibilities dammit. do stuff. not just sit around and read random information online. i'm possibly one of the few people who are complaining about the lack of things to do at work. my brain cells are dying.

can the weekend just last forever please?

i don't think your heart is supposed to feel this heavy on a sunday night when you think about what you have to do on monday. if this carries on for any longer, i might get clinically depressed. that's my expert opinion.

this will probably be one of my bigger regrets- signing the bond too early and listening to my parents instead of to my gut. dammit.

itchy hands

after lunch on fri, my colleagues and i went to bras basah complex cos a couple of them wanted to get some art supplies. we went to art friend and i fell in love with my, uh, first love, all over again. easels! canvases! super soft brushes! paints in the colours of the rainbow and every shade in between! blocks of wood! carving tools!

felt a keen sense of loss at not having done anything even remotely artsy or fartsy for quite a long time. i want to go back to the drawing board. literally.

saw all these cool art students and the like there. then i started wondering, how would i dress and how would i behave if i didn't care what other people thought? what would i do? after some pondering, i came to the conclusion that i would probably experiment a lot with clothes and hair. i'd get mine super short and coloured. and i'd wear all sorts of rubbish. cos i'm an artist and i'm entitled to it dammit! haha. happening lah.