yay yay

i just wanna say...

SELAMAT HARI RAYA TO ALL

AND MAAF ZAHIR BATIN!

ok so i'm a lazy cheapo and i'm currently anti smsing cos it's so damn hard to sms on my lousy phone. here is a sincere wish for a fantastic hari raya to everyone anyways. even those who don't see this. this is for you! wahaha. i'm excited, are you? huh? huh? if anyone has been offended by me( whether deliberately or not), sorry hor! no hard feelings! hehe. ok lah have a good one.

lots of love (but no duit raya),

naz

dead bored ah

i'm boooored. had my exam today in the morning. it was ok lah. i thought i was procrastinating badly when i only started revising on sun afternoon, but i found out that one of my other course mates started on mon morn at 12.30am. hahaha. champion sia. now i've only got the presentation on wed afternoon left. bummer right petang raya stress me out with presentation!! PETANG RAYA ok!! when everyone else gets a half day!! ggggrrrrr. arses.

i went on a housewife shopping spree just now. haha ok not exactly. i just had to get bedsheets. i have AWESOME taste in bedsheets. i swear these are the only ones i now have that i actually like. so cool and funky... wahaha. i also got my raya shoes... gold and diamante. hmm think i'm turning into a hoochie mama with all the bling. but i like pretty sparkly things... and each side came in its own little drawstring bag. like how cool is that?? ok fine i'm a sucker for packaging. pfft.

came home and started making my beloved macaroons. like finally. i think i'm supposed to make some cornflake cookies thingy but i think i'll just wait till my mum comes home.

i'm still boooored... sighs.

aujourd'hui

i just realized that my last 3 posts started with 'today'. except the one before this, which started with 'hmm today'. right.

munir, if u're gonna make fat jokes at least hv the decency to identify yrself. wahaha. and adigal did not shift the fat tag to me, cos it was already mine to begin with. so there.

btw i still don't know what i'm gonna do when i start work. all i know is that it's customer services for the 1st 3 mths. dunno which location, what kind of services or anything. guess they're gonna surprise us.

(not) leaving on a jetplane

hmm today is my ex-hsemate tini's birthday, so i called her in the morn to wish her. she just turned a quarter of a century. haha. her sis, kak noi, is getting married this coming fri. i wanna gooo! so i went and looked online for cheap tickets to perth. unfortunately they are all too freaking expensive for a 3 day trip. so too bad lah. sighs. times like these i wish money wasn't an issue. would've been nice to turn up as a surprise... or shock? haha. my mum was even willing to loan me the $ first! man if i wasn't starting work the following mon i soo would've gone. sighs. oh well. guess will save my money for a longer trip next year then.

i'm abt 1/3 done with my revision. this is progress. success would be to actually finish my mindmaps and the like by buka. haha not bloody likely. ok lah wanna go wander around and make myself useless. resisting the urge to make macaroons. tomoro dammit tomoro...

doncha wish your girlfriend was hot like me

today i went for dance classes with yaya at studio wu. it was fun! bloody hilarious lah the instructor guy. we did swing jazz to doncha by the pussycat dolls and hiphop to gwen stefani's hollaback girl. we hated the hiphop cos we can't hip nor hop. please excuse my lameness.

between classes we went to watch demos by the dancers. waaaaah i want a stomach like they have!! there were mats doing the hiphop break dance thing and one of them exposed himself pretty badly. we saw his undies when his pants fell down. wahhahahahaa. they were white with red trim. LOL. was laughing so bad...

and i am sooo not cut out for dancing. i haven't got groove. *sighs* but i won't despair, cos yaya said that it can be taught. woohoo! i'm gonna go practice my moves now. hehe.

amount of revision covered so far: zero

g'day

today was a good day.
i tried on my raya baju in the morn and discovered that i'm gonna hv to take it in cos it's too big now. :)
i weighed myself and i'm almost in the below 70kg range. :)
then came home from the gym and realised that my formally 'skinny' jeans are now my everyday jeans and they might soon become 'fat' jeans. :)
i tried on a pair of jeans i haven't been able to fit into for years and... they fit. i still have to work on the stomach though. not too good a silhouette yet. :(
all in good time...
yes i'm obsessed now. need results! my biggest fear is that this is all an illusion and i'll gain most of it back after puasa ends. now that would totally bum me out. sighs.

top ten reasons why...

u know u're a serial procrastinator when:

1. u polish the furniture AND do the vacuuming AND mopping instead of studying for yr exam
2. u'd rather bake kuih than start studying for yr exam
3. u're thinking abt whether to soft rebond yr hair or not when u should b thinking abt doing yr mindmaps
4. u wanna go to the gym and go shoe shopping and not read yr notes
5. u're blogging abt being a serial procrastinator and u suddenly feel like buffing yr nails
6. and u can't be bothered thinking abt a few other reasons
7. meaning that u'll finish this top ten another day

randomness

thunderstorms scare me when they're too close for comfort. argh!

i have minions to do my bidding for raya spring cleaning. wahaha. "if it belongs to you, i don't want to see it lying around by tomoro. comprende??"

nasi goreng putih is my new fave comfort food. mmm... especially when its got chunks of chicken in it and is accompanied by keropok and tomato sauce.

im torn between damaging my hair a lot at one go or a little each day. soft rebonding? hmm. it's against my principles! but it would make my daily styling so much easier... but i like my curls. then again i want my fringe to be straight. my hair is too thin, it'll lie flat. oh man.

i've been trying to read 'art of war' for ages. but i haven't even opened it. it's always in my bag as a travel read but it just doesn't seem to happen.

jessica alba gonna be the new spokesperson for tiger beer. ok those two just don't go. jessica please don't prostitute yrself. u're waaay better than tiger.

i should start studying for my exam on mon and preparing for my presentation on wed. hmm.

1st day of kuih making

okies, i'm trying out the email function thingy so i thought i'd write abt something inconsequential like suji. the recipe is so simple i'm like, there has got to be a catch. basically it's just twice as much flour as sugar and u add ghee until it becomes a workable dough. doh! one of my raya faves and it's a ticking time bomb of sugar, refined carbs and fats. hmm... yummy.

 

next on the list for today are choc chip cookies. yaaay! and fazzie, i found the macaroons recipe, will send it to u soon. hehe sorry lah i'm a serial procrastinator. it's another simple recipe with mmmm results.

 

i need to go to the gym today. which is why i''ve been awake since sahur. baking stuff so that i'll be free later on... i have priorities dammit!! haha. no, they're not in any way related to my exam on mon or my major presentation on wed or the project tt has to be handed in today.

 

oh ya, today will be the 3rd day i'm ignoring my insurance agent who insists on meeting up. i really don't want to know him. anyone got any great excuses i can give him on why i haven't been answering his calls?

horsing around

ok is anyone interested in horse riding lessons?? just watched a knight's tale and i am inspired. though the first time i got on a horse i got thrown off. or rather i planned to fall off so as to minimise damage cos it was impossible to stay on. let me explain what happened...

it was sometime in june/july of 2003. dol and gang came down to visit ibrahim and ansar, etc and they decided to go horse riding at yanchep. i tagged along cos i really really wanted to try it out. so off we went, it was cold and rainy, being winter and all that. i think i kinda doomed myself the moment i got on the horse cos i kinda went aaargh! for no apparent reason. horses being as smart as they are, instinctively knew, yes! first timer! can take advantage! and take advantage she did. her name was soodie if i'm not wrong.

first of all, the reins were too short. whenever she lowered her head i would have to practically hug her neck cos they pulled my arms down. she took every opportunity to do that and grazed on the trail every chance she got. sheesh. secondly, i think the stirrups were too long or something cos my feet didn't fit snugly around her belly and there was a high chance of them slipping out. stirrups are important. they keep u in the saddle!

so i kinda knew i may b doomed and that led me to come up with a plan just in case anything happened. my plan: in a situation where falling off is inevitable, lean down low, get yr foot out of the stirrups and fall to the side so u don't get trampled on. fall on the side where u have the least chance of dying or getting paralysed. simple enough. great plan.

so off we went on the trail. 10-15 mins into the ride, something happened behind us, think there was a sudden noise or something and all the horses started galloping. i was like, whoah this is wicked man!! then after they slowed to a trot the guide told us that it wasn't supposed to happen and if we stayed on during that episode, we weren't gonna have any probs at all. that's when i thought, oh oh. cos i did almost fall off during that initial gallop. i hung on cos there were like 8 other horses around me. dangerous.

now let me say something about the guide. he had on this long brown leather coat, a cowboy hat and had leathery skin to match. i think he was carrying a rifle too. he looked like one of those lone ranger types and he did leave us alone some of the time, he did. so was a bit worried lah, all novices then u have this action yaya papaya as yr guide. hello?

so anyways, the trail was damn cool, then we reached this part where we had to go uphill along this narrow track and some parts had sheer drops on one side if not both sides. the guys being the monkeys that they are started to make the horses gallop so when one starts obviously all the other horses have to as well right, cos we were in a single file. so halfway through this gallop, it happened. i was holding on just fine then i started slipping out of my stirrups and to the side. soodie was galloping with her head kinda down so my arms were strained too. i was thinking, fuck i'm gonna die. if i don't die i'll have horrendous injuries. i did try to restrain her but i was in the middle of the single file so i couldn't block the horses behind me right? luckily the track had a drop on one side and bushes and stuff on the other. so i aimed for the bushes, rolled off with minimal injuries. minimal meaning i think i strained my back. it hurt, btw.

the guys were like, oh shit what happened?? as they galloped past. i was thinking, idiots. a few mins later the guide came back with the horse and made me get right back on... i refused to at first, didn't wanna go anywhere near the damned thing. but of cos i didn't have a choice. so get back on i did, and soodie was relatively well behaved the rest of the way. once we got back through the main gates of the riding place, i thought, yay, nightmare over. little did i know i had a couple more hair raising episodes to go through.

it was dusk and the horses were more or less just walking blindly towards the corral cos they know the way so damn well. i was kinda trailing behind cos soodie is a lazy ass. walk so damn slow. then out of nowhere this camel comes running out and scared the bejitters outta her. a freaking camel dudes!! the camel caused her to rear up on her hind legs. YES zorro style. i thought i was gonna get a heart attack there and then. then soodie starts galloping towards some trees, waaay off course. i was like, that's it u miserable beast and practically yanked on her reins to stop her. she did stop ah, surprisingly, but was pretty close to bringing me to god knows where. the guide was nowhere in sight, naturally.

so we got back to the corral, had to relate to the guys what happened cos they were all way ahead of me. got off soodie, at last. then the horse people said we had to lead the horses back into the stables. fuckers. so that's what i did, halfway there, soodie had another surprise. she more or less assaulted me! she pushed me all the way against the fence with her big fat head and practically crushed the breath outta me. then she starts nuzzling, like in a hey, sorry about that, no hard feelings i was a little high just now. but it was hard and it hurt!! i'm like, jeez ok ok just leave me alone man. to top off this agony, the guys were all there and watching with these half horrified half amused looks on their faces. ya she was nuzzling my chest ok. lucky i had a black windbreaker on so it didn't look too obscene.

so ends my horse tale. anyone wanna go horse riding?? really lah it's damn shiok.

let's talk about sex baby

read that article in the newspaper about the girls who are having sex with men for money so that they can get stuff they want. honey, there's this thing called 'independent woman'. or are u not familiar with that destiny's child song?

ok ok so these are teenagers who do not have earning power. the papers put some of the blame on the parents. that is true. you need a good foundation and it all begins at home. then again the parents could be all righteous and moralistic and the kids could still turn out wrong. you also have to consider western influences, peer pressure, the relaxation of morals in general... granted, these are kids and they'll probably regret their actions later in life but why did they go down that path in the first place? what drove them to do that? i say, it's the kids themselves too. in the wise words of dr. seuss 'you have brains in your head and feet in your shoes, you can steer yourself in any direction you choose'.

the papers said that they usually met these men online. tell me, how many internet cafes are there in sg? not many right. ok, i also just found out from my lil bro that most of his friends don't have internet at home. yes, in today's world there are still people out there with no computers or our taken-for-granted broadband. so can i safely assume that these girls who have internet access and therefore access to the guys are pretty ok when it comes to income? right. i know plenty of people who have had internet for ages and they have never been compelled to sell themselves. there are also other ways of making moolah of course, such as, gee, i dunno, WORKING.

let's give them the benefit of the doubt. perhaps they're from low income families and can't afford to get the stuff that they want. perhaps they are from middle income families but they don't get enough. perhaps they're trying to keep up with their friends. perhaps perhaps perhaps. whatever it is, i believe that there is no excuse for prostituting yourself. absolutely no excuse. it's an easy way out. in fact, i believe that there is no excuse for premaritial sex either. cos ladies, if he really loves you then he'll be able to keep it in his pants until after the rock is on your finger and his signature is on the dotted line.

i sincerely don't understand why so many people are sleeping around when clearly there are some major consequences. maybe that's why i wanna be a counsellor. to understand these people better and perhaps let them see that sex is not the only way you can show someone you love them. and how not to give in to pressure. be strong!

a friend of mine once said that she 'did it for love' and that i would not understand cos obviously i've never been in love. i think that's utter bullshit of course. i believe that is just an excuse. i believe that you probably can't (shouldn't?) love anyone more than you love god. and god says no premaritial sex. so there.

another friend of mine says he does it cos he can, it's fun and it's instant gratification. he also says that he feels bad in the spiritual sense but as a human, it's damn good. i say he's a recalcitrant womanising bastard.

so perhaps it just boils down to the fact that it feels good? hmm.
it takes two to tango but it takes only one to say no. this transcends all religions and is ultimately a personal choice. so i guess there's only so much you can say or do.

bersabarlah

things that *some people* do that piss me off:

1. takes the water tumblers upstairs. leaves them upstairs. doesn't fill them up. = no water for me when i'm bloody dying of thirst. this is a huge issue cos i can't drink water straight from the tap. that sewage crap makes me sick, so it has to be boiled first. also, i NEED at least 2 litres of water daily otherwise my skin gets cranky. i don't mean that it breaks out, i mean that i get rashes and i get flaky and heaty. how hard can it be to bring the bloody things downstairs?? i'm not even expecting them to get filled up! bitch.
2. leaves the tv on at night. waste of electricity, disturbs my sleep. bitch.
3. doesn't use the door stopper when she leaves or enters the room so whenever the wind blows the door slams VERY LOUDLY. i don't like sudden loud noises. fucking irritating. bitch.

there are a myriad of other things she does that ticks me off daily. think its a general flaw in her being or some specific mechanism, the sole purpose of which is to irritate the shit outta me. and then some. i need my own house. fucking bitch.

answer the phone i know that you're home

hmm for some reason, i seem to have lost my interest in handphones. this is not a sudden change, been happening gradually for quite a while. mine's on silent most of the time now and i don't even check it regularly for smses or calls. in fact, i don't even answer most calls that i get unless they're from family members (speaking of which i vaguely remember that i missed my uncle's call yesterday. no, i haven't returned it) or i am expecting a call or i have no choice but to answer. that's where the beauty of silent mode comes in. it could vibrate all it wants and i'm not obliged to pick up. woohoo! also, i don't have free incoming so if i gauge that i'm over my 200 min limit i simply don't pick up then i call back later when i get home. maybe i should change my plan... hmm.

when it comes to smses, i kinda tend to take my time replying because a) i usually don't realise i got a msg b) i read it then mull it over and then reply c) it's not an sms that needs/deserves justification with a reply. urhm sorry to all those who have been annoyed by my m.i.a.- ness and delayed responses. it's not you, it's me. i think i'm in hermit mode. oh, also cos it's damned leceh to sms with my phone. i mean, i'm used to it now lah but it doesn't get any less annoying. kinda like siblings and meddling old women. the less contact you have, the better for your blood pressure and sanity.

i don't even answer the phone at home or check who's at the door unless i'm expecting someone over. why? cos the calls to the house phones are rarely for me. so why bother answering? i go by the mantra 'if it's important they'll call back'. the only time the phone sends me into panic mode is when it starts ringing in the middle of the night or in the wee hours of the morning, cos this usually means bad news. panic mode only kicks in when the main house line does this, not my room line. cos if it's my room line it's probably just my sister's boyfriend. thank god he doesn't call in the middle of the night anymore. cos he got an earful from me the last time he did it. wahaha.

hmm i'm on study break now but i have one more project which requires the burning of the midnight oil this weekend. bummer. i'm also lost as to where to start spring cleaning for raya. upstairs? downstairs? stores? sighs. shopping! what should i get first?? shoes? bag? undies? facial? haircut? can i afford all of them at once? urgh i hate prioritizing. ok lah off to ponder where to start...

glossy

when i got back to sg i told myself that i would never buy any sg mags. well of course i didn't stick to that rule. got quite a few mags, then i stopped for a few months. so far this week i have bought 2 mags. this is because a) i'm bored b) i have the $ to spare since i'm not spending it on food c) i need inspiration.

oh boy was i wrong about c). sg fashion still sucks big time. there was this page in female about street style, where they just pick people off the street who have good style, in their eyes. they must be myopic and are probably suffering from worse astigmatism than me. carbon copies!! for every girl on that page i bet 10 000 other girls are dressing the same way. tank, skirt, giant belt. top, jeans. *YAWN*

at least i managed to spot a few things i would like to get. gimme!! mostly shoes ah. think i'm a shoe snob. i hate wearing cheap shoes. feel so blah, darling. right now i'm obsessing over ninewest and aldo. once i hit the big time, i hope to invest in a pair of jimmy choos or manolo blahniks. mmm. blahniks. in which case i would feel 'blah' in a positive way.

oh ya, 50 most gorgeous people are out. once again proving that they need to get to the optometrist PRONTO before anymore accidents happen. if that is the kind of standard they have, even i can enter sia! win hands down! wahahahaha. ok i'm being a bitch, there were a few good lookers among the men. everyone else, average, average and average. most of the faces were also in half shadow, so you can't really get a good look at them. sometimes a bit unfair too cos some had head shots while others had full body shots... oh well. sukati lah.

i can't wait to get my pay... i wanna go shopping dammit!

one more week...

hmm just finished yet another project. sighs. this is the last week of training, then it'll be study break (got another proj due during this week too) followed by exam week. just one exam. wahaha. but got major presentation to do on the eve of hari raya ok. don't play play. some future colleagues/ managers are gonna be sitting in and evaluating us. :s those who know me know that i absolutely suck with presentations. i can't do them for nuts. i get so tongue tied and nervous and i start talking rubbish. yes, more rubbish than usual. please god let it be over soon. i absolutely cannot wait to start work. really. have had it up to here with the studying. urgh... for now anyways.

on a lighter note, congratulate me, i just managed to get rid of a persistent horny mat salleh! woohoo! well i think i did. *shrug* tiada kehilangan on my part. on his part, well, he should go for other types of girls lah ok.

had kfc for buka. haven't had that in a while... pretty good. but one thing was missing- cheese fries!! and i'm still craving old chang kee. since last week. sighs.

you can tell i haven't got much to talk about, yes. i wanna start making kuih raya leh. my specialties, macroons, cheesecake and nutella cake. mmm... next week can ah lucky got study break. yay yay.

ok i said it before and i'll say it again cos it's still true- i HATE internet explorer. stinking piece of crap. gggrrr.

i'm so tired of being alone so hurry up and get here

i think i have reached that point where i'm sick and tired of being single. really. i'm looking at all these damned couples walking around and i'm like, i want what they have!! why does this thing that other people seem to get so easily continue to elude me? hmm? perhaps it's just me. according to a random online test that i did, i have "A sensitivity in your (my) nature, often repressed below the surface of awareness, (that) makes it hard to give or receive affection." right. like that answers everything. that's no excuse. i can change... right?
i have even been considering those dating agency thingys like "it's just lunch" and "lunch actually". they look appealing. really. hmm... yes people, i am getting desperate. eeeeeeks!

why, you ask? well it's because i have set myself a deadline to get married. that deadline is july 2007. i know, a bit near right. less than 2 years! i need a deadline lah. i'm a serial procrastinator. no deadline = no action taken. it's that simple. yeah you can't force these things, i know, but i need to do something. can't just sit on my ass and expect him to come knocking on my door right. unless i'm destined to marry a delivery guy or postman ah. in which case i am truly screwed because there goes my tai tai dreams.

you may also ask, why get married? why not just have a boyfriend? well my dears, some among you will know the answer to that. no explanation needed. or if you're blur sotong and you need an explanation, come and ask me ok.

by the way, anyone know where i can learn how to fight with swords? think it's damn cool lah. i wanna do some sort of self- defence or martial art class if the sword fighting thing is unavailable. no, i don't mean fencing. that looks so sissy. no offence to fencers. when i say sword fight, think gladiator, troy, a knight's tale... comprende? how wicked would that be? think about it man...

countdown:
17 days to raya
7 weeks to my bro's wedding

i'm fucking screwed.

weekend burned

it's gonna b a long weekend. i have to go and man my uncle's food stall at the bazaar this weekend from 2pm to 11pm. bummer. i guess it will b fun but i got a ton of other things to do! missed my gym session this morning cos i got home at almost 3am last night- hanging out with rohana, derick and faisal. haha hilarious stuff... perhaps i'll just do the stall thing on sat and not sun. the idea of serving mats and minahs is NOT appealing to me. at all. have to report in 2 hours... nooo. i'm not done with my projects! argh! i haven't exercised in 3 days! 3!! count to day it's 4!! :( i don't wanna go back to my sedentary lifestyle... ok ah confirm ah tomoro dowan to work. urgh. i have stuff to do man. i'm just airing my gripes don't mind me. i wanna do an MMR tonight! who's with me? wahaha.

the birth

grace has given birth! when i heard the news i was like, wait a minute, who's been humping her?? apparently tini's (my ex hsemate) cousin liyana got a white rabbit and they've been playing together. if u know what i mean. her other cousin aisyah has a grey rabbit. hmm. argh i want one too... then again, nah... rabbits don't do much. i'd rather have a cat. but yeah, pretty exciting stuff... i miss perth. :(

don't hate me cos i'm beautiful

i don't understand ah, why some ppl ah, KNOW they are good looking and yet try to deny it. like what the hell? embrace your god given assets for crying out loud! soo modest for what? ok modest can lah, but don't go and say no lah, where got, don't say lah, while at the same time repeating compliments that people have given you. that is just warped lah ok. trying to be humble but at the same time wanting people to agree with/confirm what others have said? oh come on gimme a bloody break. don't tell me your self- esteem is so low that you need people to say shit like that and fish for compliments. wankers.

now that THAT issue is off my chest...

what is the difference between sweet and lawa(beautiful)? some tell me that if the person is sweet, she ain't exactly gorgeous but there's something about her that's attractive. ugly but adorable? hmm. and apparently you won't get sick of looking at her face. but if someone is lawa, then obviously stunning lah but after a while the face will lose its appeal and you'll get sick of it. anybody have any thoughts on this? and what would you rather be? sweet or lawa?

gawd this is a superficial entry. sorry guys. urhm not referring to anyone you may or may not know in the above paragraphs.

don't look no further, baby i'm back here

due to overwhelming demand i'm posting! wahaha. been busy lah, finishing projects, presentations and studying for a paper i had just now. it was pretty easy actually. almost insulted my intelligence. hahahaha.

anyways, i'm booooored. at home so early and nothing to do. except sleep i guess. wanted to go watch a movie but i bought a magazine instead. was supposed to go to the gym but i couldn't be bothered packing my stuff.

this is completely uninspired. i hate internet explorer. i wanna go sleep now. ok bubbai.

myth busted

pictorial proof that naz does do veggies. but only the palatable type. what is palatable? depends on my palate lah duh. not yours. this is the sakura kailan in oyster sauce stuff that i was talking about previously... mmm... are mushrooms considered veggies btw?

hmm i'm kinda loving this baby pink text colour. nice contrast...

sunday morning jiwang

been hearing this song on radio, it's a duet called 'where are you' by natalie and some other dude. very feeling leh. wahaha. *sighs*

I know you're out there baby
Somewhere . .
There's someone out there for me (I know there's somebody out there)
I know she's waiting so patiently
Can you tell her name (Won't somebody tell me her name)
This lifelong search is going to drive me insane (That's right)
How does she laugh, how does she cry
Whats the color of her eyes
Does she even realize, I'm here

Where is she, where is she, where is she
Where is this beautiful girl
Who is she, who is she
Who's going to complete my world
Where is she, where is she, where is she
Where is this beautiful girl
Who is she, who is she
Who's going to complete my world
Da da da da da
Where are you . . .

I'm staring out at the sky (I see you baby)
Praying he will walk in my life
Where is the man of my dreams (I'm right here) yeah yeah
I'll wait forever, how silly it seems
How does he laugh, how does he cry
Whats the color of his eyes
Does he even realize, I'm here

Where is he, where is he, where is he
Where is this beautiful guy
Who is he, who is he
Who's going to take me so high
Where is he, where is he, where is he
Where is this beautiful guy
Who is he, who is he
Who's going to take me so high
Lalalaa(Where are you)

There's someone out there for me (There's someone out there for me)
I know she's waiting so patiently (so patiently)
Can you tell me her name (can you tell me his name)
This lifelong search is going to drive me insane; Thats right

How does he laugh, how does he cry
Whats the color of his eyes
Does he even realize, I'm here

Where is she, where is she, where is she
Where is this beautiful girl
Who is she, who is she
Who's going to complete my world

Where is he, where is he, where is he
Where is this beautiful guy
Who is he, who is he
Who's going to take me so high
Lalalaalalaa
I know you're out there
Lalalaalalaa
Where are you

I'm going to look all over the world baby
Because I know you're out there
I know it might sound crazy but I think I love you
Lalalaalalaa
Where are you

all the good ones really are taken...

today we had a new lecturer. the moment she walked in i thought 'whoa hot sia' and then i thought 'definitely a MILF'. she wasn't typically pretty and slim but she was very well groomed and confident and attractive. i wanna be like her when i grow up. so i was quite happy when my friend said that i looked like her. think it was the hairstyle. except that hers had more volume, every strand was in place and she had cool highlights. moving on.

we were doing this exercise where she wanted us to tell her, if u were a car and a cuisine, what would u be? it was gonna be my turn, then i got an sms from my aunt. it read 'guess who's getting married in june'. i think the colour drained from my face cos there can be only one person who would spur my aunt into sending a msg like that. so i just left it for a while, letting it sink in.

then my turn came. i said something like 'peugeot coupe convertible. its european made so i guess its better quality. its fun yet still sleek enough and can take advantage of sunny days as well as shield from rainy days'. cos what u pick is supposed to reflect yr personality or something. for cuisine i wanted to say middle eastern but changed my mind and said chocolate. cos its sweet, addictive and very satisfying. also may contain nuts.

after that i completely switched off and returned my aunt's sms. i guessed correctly. was so heartbroken and devastated. almost cried, seriously. tears were welling in my eyes... wah so drama. haha. it was goofy. my sia engineering crush of 3 years. he is getting married. in june. the guy i would marry immediately had he asked. is getting married in june to some peranakan indian chick whose daddy is a businessman. i even know her address. that's how good my sources are, y'all. don't play play.

this is the second time that a dude i had my eye one happened to be engaged. thank god that in this case, i hadn't done anything stupid yet. thank god that i insisted my aunt find out if he was single before i did anything. thank god i was saved the embarrassment. my aunt was sweet enough to say that it's ok, i'll find someone better soon. ah, hope.

well rohana, looks like i have a TOTGA.

so in light of this, i went to get some retail therapy that i should not have gotten. rohana told me about the bodyshop warehouse sale at suntec so i went to check it out and ended up spending 70 bucks (very broke now. very.) stocking up on toiletries... was so friggin' excited!! thanks for the tip off girl. hehe. another good thing that happened was, the scale was on my side today. i'm in the 73kg range. like FINALLY some movement. hmm starving yourself does work...

ok if u don't mind i'm gonna go wallow in self pity and make good use of the funky stuff that i just happily blew my money on.

eh panas ah panas panas

yesterday night i went to check out the pasar malam at geylang. there was no crowd and most of the stalls were still setting up but the mats are out in full force!! haha. speaking of force, the policemen were patrolling too. don't u just love men in uniform? don't u? mmm...

anyways, i was wearing a pink velour hooded jacket cos i decided last minute to follow my parents to geylang so that i could get some work done (will explain this later) and just threw on the first thing that had to be worn again before it has its turn in the washing machine (which happens to be broken, but that's another story). naturally when i went to check the pasar malam out with my lil sis (lala) the mats would go 'eh panas ah panas panas' when i walked by. well excuuuuse me, u may hv been outdoors all day but i've been going from one air conditioned place to another and it's damn cold!

now, i have several questions. firstly, do they mean hot as in i must be hot cos i'm wearing a jacket and its already warm outside? secondly, if they were making fun of me wouldn't they have said 'sejuk' instead since it obviously wasn't and i was wearing cool weather clothing? thirdly, is sarcasm beyond them? fourthly, WHY do they have to comment about every single female who walks by?

in connection to that fourth question, i went to visit my uncle who has a food stall this year in front of mcdonald's. the mats all along that row of stalls were happily making their usual comments when i stopped and waved at my uncle. at which point all of them promptly shut up. i swear i could hear the 'uh-ohs' in the air. but its cool...

i may or may not help out at the stall on the weekends so if u do drop by the bazaar, i may give u a discount if u get something. hehe. aeshon also has a clothes stall somewhere inside the bazaar. she was still setting up yesterday when i popped by to say hi. oh and my other uncle is selling cars and c-tea. go figure.

on the getting work done in geylang part, my parents have a shop there lah. at joo chiat complex, 3rd floor, opposite anglia. figured i'm better off doing work there cos there are no distractions. and it's true, i did manage to get work done! hehe. so proud of myself... and it was cold in the shop so my wearing a jacket was justified. pfft.

happy ramadhan!!

woohoo! 1st day of puasa!! is anyone as excited as i? anyone at all?? 1st day of sahur-ing and its a nice cold rainy morning. so hard to wake up aaaahhh. but it will be even harder to wake up later if i go back to sleep now cos i need to be awake in about an hour... eh. actually can sleep. crap. oh no wait cannot, need to do project. hehe. don't mind me i'm just reflecting out loud. anyways, SELAMAT BERPUASA TO ALL!! rohana says its the best time to ask for stuff that u want... we all know wat that means. *nudge nudge wink wink*

i met my ceo yesterday... our class finished at 12. he was supposed to come in and talk to us at 3.30. it lasted only half an hour. wtf mate? not even a whole hour and we had to wait for 3.5... thanks ah thanks. it was ok lah, nothing as exciting as starting to puasa again. my phone went off during his talk tho. omg so paiseh sia. i thought it was on silent!! argh!! i hope he doesn't remember me.

i also went to watch 'the myth'. can i just say, HAHAHAHAHA. the dialogue was so bad it was funny. but not cringe worthy. the indian lady was HOT but she appeared for only like what, 10 minutes? i think she existed merely to promote yoga and have her clothes ripped off in the rat glue scene. wait for it to come out on vcd guys.

and finally about the fugly post, i said it once and i'll say it again. it only takes a little effort to look like da bomb. so put in that effort can or not?? don't be malas!! malas is never an excuse! or perhaps ah, u guys don't think much of the power of make up cos u can dress up instead. let me explain. the clothes i wear are, frankly speaking, boring like hell. i have no style. this is partly due to the fact that it's so hard to find nice stuff for people my size in sg. urhm also cos i'm boycotting shopping here, but that's another story. u guys on the other hand, have the freedom to wear, well, more or else everything on the racks! i'm being general here. but u do get my point right? right.

so, seeing how i have little to work with clothes wise, i make up for it with... make up. 'if the face looks good the rest don't matter' is yet another of my delusional mantras that will never catch on. i also look like crap without make up. maybe that's something u girls don't suffer from. hehe. with that, i lay this issue to rest.

fugging myself

ok i am guilty of flouting my own rule lately. this rule is called 'always be prepared' and refers to the way you look. i have been leaving the house without *gasp* eyeliner and i don't even bother reapplying my lip gloss during the course of the day. i don't even style my hair. yes, it is bad, ladies. what's worse is my dressing. tees! jeans! gym bags! no earrings! no contacts!! what the hell happened to my good sense?? i'm fugly!

well everything went flying out the window, obviously, with my immersion back into the education system. i couldn't be arsed to dress properly to go to a place where the majority of the population are immature babies. no fish to catch mah, so dress up for what. but wait, that's not all.

i should worry right, seeing how i get on the train and bus for about 3 hours a day. i should meet loads of people right? right. but from my observations over the past couple of months, there is hardly anyone worth looking at lah. unfortunately i have also fallen into that category. *sighs*

i blame the fact that i go to the gym (there it is again) and doing so makes wearing make up a waste of time and effort as well as being highly impractical. oh god. i just said make up is a waste of time. i need to go wash my mouth out with soap now. also, make up just does not go with sporty/ sloppy wear.

i solemnly swear to clean up my act. no matter how leceh it is. because it's worth it. because i can't bear to cringe anymore when i see my reflection in the mrt windows. because if i don't enforce my own rule, then who will? there is no excuse to look like crap when all you need to do is put in a little effort. hear that? effort.

i can't wait for work to start so that i can dress up. really. in the meantime i shall get my contacts out of early retirement, sharpen my eye pencil, unclump my mascara, dig my glosses out, dust off my 'nice' clothes and polish up my earrings. i will also ditch the cargos and running shoes. maybe.

looking good does not happen with a magic wand.

warning: (extra) self- absorbed post ahead

hmm i never thought this could actually be the case but now that i think about it, there could be a worm in my stomach. someone on yasmine’s blog commented that she couldn’t stop eating (or something to that effect) and she blamed it on a worm. genius! it all makes sense now. just realized the other day that i can kinda see my ribs on the sides but my stomach is still bloody bloated lah. so how like that? a worm would explain everything! or maybe i just have an insatiable appetite. i think i need appetite suppressants. can’t wait for puasa to start man!! Please God, save me. But if You can’t make me slim, please make my friends fat. thanks.

i also know why i’m not losing weight even though i’m exercising 5-6 times a week. i’m enjoying it too much. that’s right. back then when i was doing the reservoir thing, after my workout i would think, “oh man that was absolutely torturous. i’m not gonna waste what i just did by eating junk.” so i lost weight. But now i think, “hmm that was fun. so what are we eating?” yeah. eureka moment. also i think i burned more during the reservoir runs, cos i covered about 5km. and i always did push ups, crunches, lunges and squats.

now on the treadmill i only do about 2.5km. not good. and i do other stuff like the cross- trainer and stepper and stuff but we all know running is the gold standard for fat burning right? right. and i don’t do the weights cos i don’t wanna look suaku standing around and not knowing what to do. too shy to ask the trainers lah! haha. but i guess i’ll have to get my courage up soon. *sighs*

i'm the kind who needs to get her ass kicked in boot camp. when is the next season of villa wellness starting? i could sooo do that. and i think christina resembles me. really, not kidding.

ok the plan for bulan puasa:
DON’T GORGE FOR SAHUR AND BUKA!
go to the gym and whack it out about 3 to 4 times a week after buka. or more if possible.

i know i said i was throwing in the towel. but my hope refuses to die. it’s still flailing around, gasping for breath. and my kebaya for raya is mocking me. what a bitch. i want a body like jessica alba. But i think i can only manage jessica simpson. bummer.

uh oh i'm in trouble

i think i'm getting addicted to attention from males.




dammit.